Mental health of kids during covid and lockdown

This covid pandemic has changed the world in many ways. No one is untouched by its effects. It has changed the meaning of life, ways to live, ways to work, connecting with people and many more things. These issues are being discussed by everyone in the society, on social media, in the news, but have you thought about the pressure our children are handling? How is this uncertainty affecting their  mental health? 

Globally 25.2% of the population is under 15 years, which are currently at higher risk of getting mentally affected due to covid. 

Here are a few tips to make your children adjust to this new normal and help them grow and nurture positively-

 

Why are children likely to be affected more?

 

We adults are also facing difficulty in adjusting to this new normal whereas children can’t even express their concerns. Compared to adults, children may face more long term consequences post covid. Children are more vulnerable because of

 

• Their limited understanding of the situation
• Both their physical and mental growth are being hampered
• They don’t know coping strategies
• Uncertainty and disturbed routine 
• Children can’t fully express their fear and anxiety

Children, like adults, are missing out on their regular routine. They miss being outside, playing with friends in the park, going to school. They can’t continue with their leisure activities like swimming, skating, cycling etc. This new normal may be difficult for them to understand.

 

Conditions often become more difficult for kids if any of the family members get sick or get hospitalized. In the second wave there are many who have lost  either or both their parents. Kids also suffer when there is an increase of financial burden on parents either due to loss of job or salary cuts. 

 

Many children don’t have access to online classes, so it’s widening the gap among kids, which was already big in developing countries like India. Underprivileged kids are facing lack of access to information, lack of nutrition, many are coping with parents unemployment consequences, many have no access to online schooling and worse are those who already were facing some kind of abuse at home and school was their vent out zone.

 

Children’s mental health is being affected by parent’s mental health. Discussions about the pandemic all day, news reports, near and dear ones getting sick, death in family or other stress related to lockdown in adults have adverse effects on kids.

 

Here are a few things we can do to help children cope in these stressful times.

 

VALIDATE THEIR CONCERN:

It’s important to listen to kids and acknowledge what they say. Their questions should always be answered even if you yourself are not sure about it. Their growing minds have many budding questions which if not answered, can continue to occupy their minds and can always increase chances of anxiety.

 

If you don’t have a certain answer to their concern, it’s better to validate their question, reassure them and let them know that even sometimes parents don’t have answers.

You can always tell them that “Their question is so good that even parents need to find an answer to it” or ” Wow, why did this question never come to my mind? Let’s find an answer together, sweetie”. 

 

Reassurance builds confidence in kids and it improves their connection with parents. They learn to positively react to situations where they can’t get answers. This is a great way to bond with kids even in the postcovid era. They should feel free to come to you with their questions.

 

ASK WHAT’S ON THEIR MIND:

It’s a good practice to ask your kids about their fears or anxiety. They will come out with more questions if they know that there’s a space for everything outside their mind as well.

You can ask them about their concerns either by directly questioning them or by indirectly telling them that something is going on in your mind as well, or by making them draw it on a paper. There are many ways, the last one is my way of doing it. Kids love to express themselves through colors.

 

You can ask them like” What do you think we should do to avoid getting infected with covid” or ” What’s the thing they miss most from their precovid times?” and make it a point to reassure them that it’s just a matter of time or they are not alone and everybody, including you, are missing going out. 

 

These discussions about covid and present situations should be time framed and not to be discussed all day long. It’s important to know what’s going on in your kids mind but it should not be discussed all day. Asking them and giving them answers and then switching on to more comfortable things, can be a better idea.

 

FOLLOW DAILY ROUTINE:

 It’s a good idea for kids to follow some kind of routine. It adds certainty to their life. Though the schools are closed, kids can have a school-like routine with online classes.

 

• Make them wake up at a set time daily.
• Make them dress up for online classes, better to change nightgowns and make them wear fresh clothes. 
• Time for meals should be constant. Kids should know it’s time for a particular meal.
• Whether it’s playtime, meal time, screen time everything should have a particular slot in daily routine.
• Though you can’t expect a rigid timetable during lockdown when everyone is at home, some kind of certainty is always better for kids’ mental health.

 

HOME SCHOOLING:

Schools used to be a very important part of a child’s growth but covid halted this for a long period now. It’s almost two sessions that kids are continuing learning from home. Parents have to juggle between roles of parents, teachers, househelp, hair stylists, chef and many more. Though teachers are also doing extraordinary work from behind the screen, it sometimes gets difficult for toddlers or primary kids to study alone. Following are  few tips to enhance kids learning abilities

• A dedicated space for studying, may be a separate room, separate area with table chair or even a separate corner in small houses. Kids should know this area is their schooling area and it helps improve kids’ attention.
• Make them dress up before the school time.
• Try to make them do work on their own, help them only when required, during class time.
• After the classes, interact with them and help them understand things they are not clear with.
• Always follow teachers directions, they are doing it for years.
• Try to involve learning in simple home tasks like cooking and measuring ingredients, laundry and counting clothes or even separating different color clothes for toddlers, or tips of gardening or arranging table for dinner, or different shapes cut out from dough, arranging vessels by their sizes, arranging clothes/ toys in cupboard etc etc, there can be so many innovative ways.
• Dedicate a time for practice work as well. Don’t shift timing daily as per your schedule. Once in a while you may need to be flexible and let the child know about it because certainty is always helpful.
• Don’t allow kids to eat or drink during the class time, help them maintain discipline.

 

BUILD POSITIVE ATMOSPHERE:

Home environment and parent’s mental health influences children’s mental health. In this pandemic atmosphere there’s a lot of negativity all round the globe. People are always talking about the miseries or someone sick in family or financial losses,  which increases fear and anxiety among the kids. News channels are playing devastating stories all day, family members are discussing these all day, even few kids channels are showing everything revolving around covid. As children are spending more time indoors, the home atmosphere is even affecting them more. It’s important for them to be aware of things but it’s even more important to feed them positivity.

 

 They should have some beautiful memories of this pandemic time. Help them remember this time with zest rather than negativity.

Things will get back to normal someday but when kids look back they should remember the positivity. Time spent with family, new games they tried, new recipes they cooked together, how good they gelled with their siblings or what new activity they learnt online. They will remember that though it was not a very happy era, they were not playing out with friends or not going to school or not going for dine outs but they still did many new things. They should feel excitement remembering these days.

 

Its more important if there’s a child with something special, to provide them with a positive atmosphere. During lockdown, special needs children may be missing from their rehab classes or their counseling sessions and outdoor activities, so they may get irritable and annoyed even faster and need more help at this time.

 

Kids like to keep themselves busy. They are high on energy and love doing something or the other. Home atmosphere should be supportive for them especially during lockdown as they are already missing many things and it’s their important time of physical and mental growth. We can’t halt their growth during lockdown but we can enhance it by providing them with a positive atmosphere. If provided a supportive atmosphere, they can adjust themselves with the situations.

 

My 7 year old kid says that though he misses playing outdoors with friends, he’s happy that he is spending more time with family and learning new things with his sister.

 

Prefer physical distancing over social distancing:

 

Social distancing is one of the important weapons in fighting covid. But it’s only physical distancing and staying connected socially. Socially it’s all the more important to stay connected. Let kids talk to their friends on phone, virtual meetings with family members are important for kids to stay positive. Arrange video calls with grandparents or uncle, aunts or cousins and spend some quality family time. Arrange a virtual playdate for kids with online games or plan for a virtual class at the same time and let them discuss it later. It’s important that kids should stay connected with family and friends in this crisis time.

 

TIPS FOR HAPPY PARENTING:

Happy parenting is a myth or a real existing thing. It’s definitely real for those who plan for their kids, spend time with kids and interact with kids.

 

Here are few tips you can follow to make kids learn and grow during lockdown:

• Try to befriend with your kids- Today’s parenting style is different from how it was in our previous generations. Kids are more aware nowadays may be due to social media exposure, shows on tv, over attention by parents or different ways of teaching. So today’s generation is smarter, more clear about their views and more independent.

 

• Always give them choices- Don’t try to enforce things on them. Give them choices about food, clothes, subjects they want to study, games they want to play, or things they want to do at a particular time. To make them disciplined, it’s a good idea to follow a certain routine but with a little flexibility. Always incorporate choices for kids, rigidity increases fussiness and irritability among kids.

 

• Involve them in decision making- Kids learn to be independent if we involve them in making decisions for small things. Let them free to decide what they want to wear, let them decide what they want to play, involve them while making grocery list, let them clean the room, let them water the plants, take their help in planning meals taking care of nutrition, involve them in arranging groceries, drying clothes, arranging wardrobes and many other things you do.

• Reward them often- Everyone loves to be awarded and rewarded and kids love it even more. Praise and reward them with their favorite things now and then to boost their confidence. Rewards can be anything from kids’ favourite meal to a stroll together in the garden or a simple candy but kids should feel appreciated. Here is my way of rewarding my kids.

 

• Help them improve their mistakes- Make them improve their mistakes by positive dialogues. Avoid the words like” Do this or face this, you always do like this, you are _______ ,I am annoyed with you, don’t dare doing that” and all other negative lines which can make a child lose confidence. Instead

• Use positive dialogue- Try using words like ” Come On let’s clean this mess, everybody makes mistakes but try to learn from them, we prefer doing it this way, or can we try other way round, I think that would be more helpful”. Though sometimes it’s necessary to maintain discipline but then always be affirmed at your decision. If you said No for something then try to stick with it and don’t ease it even if a kid starts throwing tantrums.Teach them that this is not right for you and you are not getting it by throwing tantrums.

 

 

• Take a break when needed- Parents also deserve breaks from daily routine. Stressed parents can’t raise happy children. It’s all more important when everyone is home during lockdown and don’t have outside escapes. Always include a ME TIME in your daily routine. It may be a peaceful cup of coffee, or your favorite song, quick meditation or your social media dose, a quick page reading from your favorite book or even a warm shower. There should always be something which relaxes your nerves and you should try to make time for it daily even if for just 10 minutes. Partner’s and family support is important if you have infants/ toddlers to take care of. Quick relaxation can ease your nerves and can help in happy parenting.

 

Create new activities for kids:

Kids are full of energy and they can’t sit at a place for long. Since they can’t go out and play, it’s all the more important to create a playing atmosphere indoors. Kids can play with almost anything like a piece of paper, a handful of pebbles, a pot of mud, kitchen utensils, a soft toy. They don’t need expensive toys to keep themselves busy. All it needs is a little innovation.

 

• Most important is teaching them “Why is it so important to stay indoors?” Explain to them the benefits for the family, themselves and for society.

 

•  Make a plan for the day. You can always write it on paper. Start with a regular daily routine. Here’s an .an example of my kids routine chart. We like to tick the things we complete, it adds more fun.

• Give them some interesting tasks for the day like sowing a seed, making a sandwich, arranging the wardrobe, scavenger hunt and place small reward chits, happy bath time by letting them stay a little long in the tub or learning a new yoga pose, or letting them paint whatever is on their mind. Let them play with colors,there are many more things to keep kids busy.

 

 

• Teach them the importance of food and nutrition by involving them in the kitchen. Let them try their hands on dough, arranging vegetables, planning a meal, no fire recipes, arranging dinner tables or washing their plates.

 

• Involve in activities with kids. Though it’s too much of a task for parents to work from home, completing all household chores without any help, helping kids with their academic work and then taking out time for playful activities. But kids always love to interact with people. Since they can’t play with their friends, it’s important for parents to fill that gap.

 

It is said that it’s not just the birth of a kid, its birth of parents as well. So as kids grow, parents also grow. Parents also learn from their mistakes. It’s a simultaneous journey for both kids and parents. They learn so many new things from each other. It’s the most beautiful journey.

 

Covid has touched each one of us in one way or the other. We are trying to adjust to this new life and so are our kids. With some more support from family, kids can keep growing the way they used to. In fact this lockdown gave chances to families to bind more, understand each other well and let kids build stronger bonds with their family. At the end of the day they should be going to bed without any baggage. They should cherish this beautiful time for a lifetime even if there were some  close ones getting sick, someone passed away in the family or there was a financial crisis, children should remember the valuable time they spent with family. The beautiful bond built should always be weighed more than the rough patch.